Thursday, October 28, 2010
Listening
A great speaker must first be a sensitive and invested listener--Anonymous
In the textbook we learn...oh, wait, the bookstore never got the book....um, well, we would have seen that listening is important and very different than "hearing!" Tell us about a really good or really awful listener in your life (maybe use a fake name to protect the innocent!) What do they do to make you feel "heard?" Let us know as a class if we were good listeners during your introduction speech! Good listeners give lots of "minimal encouragers"--they make compassionate noises, nod, agree aloud withoug being disruptive and sometimes paraphrase back to you what they understand you to have stated (ie: "It sounds like you feel strongly about world peace" for instance). Good listening enhances relationships and validates those we care about--Make it a focus this semester! By the way, what are the gender differences in listening? Do men and women listen differently? Keep blogging people!
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Hi its Brittany! a time when someone was a bad listener was at work. My manager asked me what we had learned in the training class for our new system (she wasnt there) so i explained to her EXACTLY what was required of us...She kept interrupting me and cutting me off as if she had understood what i was saying. 1 hour later she comes to my desk and asks me to repeat myself. I was seriously frustrated because had she been paying attention she wouldnt have had to ask me to repeat myself.
ReplyDeleteTo answer the question about my speech, i do feel like the class was listening. After my speech was finished a few of the class members commented on what i had said.
I dont feel like men and women listen differently. i think its based on personality because me personally, i listen to the beginning of the sentence and if i think i know what you are going to say, i stop listening.
Hi everyone, it's Stephanie here. My oldest sister is a horrible listener. She will be in the room with you and totally never pay attention to a word you say and then when you are in the middle of talking to our mom or our other sister, she starts asking questions about the very same thing you just talked about.
ReplyDeleteI feel my mom is a great listener. She always listens to everything I have to say even if there is a problem. She nods, maybe agrees, sometimes she doesn't. Most importantly even if she doesn't respond that moment, a few days later she will do something to show she knew exactly what you were talking about. For example, hand me something I needed and she hand.
I felt the class was warm, understanding. They smiled and nodded. I felt extremely comfortable with them. I felt I could tell them anything. One thing that bothered me was late arrivals to the class. On speech nights, if someone has to be late, I feel they should wait until a speech is over to enter the class. Loud noises and disruptions can make the speaker nervous.
In my opinion, I think women tend to listen more where as my husband or son will get important facts and then tune us out. LOL
I know its a stereotype that guys dont listen, but there may be a reason. Note to all the girls out there: Most Guys love all sports. Guys are built around competition. Doesnt matter if its log throwing, swimming, football, etc. So make a special note that if you say something to your man, or any man, during a big game that he is watching, he, chances are, are telling you "ok" just to make you go away. How to curb this: Tell it to him before or after the game, when he is NOT paying attention to the game.
ReplyDeleteThe above has happened billions of times to me, and many other games I talk to. If you dont believe me, go to the gym when the game is on. Chances are you will see a bunch of guys around the TV. Women typically find television trivial. Guys do not.
When you get the guy away from a television, like during a speech class however, people are more likely to pay attention to what you say. I felt that everyone was paying attention to what I was saying, which was encouraging. The next class session, I felt that everyone was more in-tuned to each other, which was proof of paying attention.
So enough of me rambline on, and on, and on. If anything to extract from my posting, refer to paragraph 1.
Actually Spencer that might not be true in every case, because in my realtionship, I'm the sports fan and he isn't. :) ~Stephanie~
ReplyDeleteHello, my name is Nancy Yu. I personally think that my sister is a good listener. She listens to whatever I had to say and remembers what I said by quoting me, and sometimes it gets annoying. Well, when my sister wants me to listen to her, she usually talks a little louder and looks at me the whole time to make sure I get what she said to me.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on an individual other than by gender. For me, I tune out most of the time when my friends ramble on and on about random things, and since I am easily distracted I don't really listen much.
Hi,my name is Romila Prasad. I think it is gender differences when it comes to listening because males are more toward giving and females are more towards receving thatis women are good in listenner.I have brothers and Sister and we are grown up as differently due to our genders.Mostly men are giving commands and women are listening.
ReplyDeleteHi it’s Maurice,
ReplyDeleteI guess it would depend on the topic when it comes to listening to others or giving someone else a chance to get there point across. However, no matter the topic we should be courteous to them and try not to interrupt them.
I am lucky that my family always allows me to get my point across. I would feel like they were being rude if they didn’t. My family also lets me know that they are follow along with my topic by smiles, head nods and feedback.
Hello from Colleen Whalen - I am trying to connect with the Group Presentation that is assigned a speech on "Schizophrenia". None of the other 4 students from that group showed up at Communications 301 class on Nov. 1st.
ReplyDeleteAre you folks out there?
If nobody from my group shows up on Wedneday, I was instructed to just give my speech on my own - since it is an "Introduction" with a definition of schizophrenia and some sidebars.
The Professor told me to prepare a 3 minute INTRODUCTION - I will follow the format from:
Outline:
INTRO
Attention Getter
Thesis - Definition of Schizophrenia
Preview Main Points
Purpose
Credibility
Connection (We and Why)
AFTER THAT it is up to the other students in our group to finish the speech.
We each get 2 1/2 minutes - 3 minutes at the very most.
Please email me offline if you want to liase about this homework assignment. It is due at our next class - Nov 4th, Wednesday. We will have about 5-10 minutes to "huddle" and prep our group - then the various groups will give their presentations.
We must give ORAL CITATIONS during our speech
We must turn in hard copy of WRITTEN CITATIONS
so use APA or MLA methodology format - this is a Psychology topic - so APA (American Psychology Association) is citation format for your written outline to turn into our teacher.
MLA is for Humanities courses - English etc.
100 points - so be there or be square!
For my "no show" team members - contact me @
cmwhalen2001(at)yahoo(com)
oh and please do not SPAM me or take my email and send it out into cyberspace - this is my private email account!
Hi, Alison here! I tend to talk a lot (sometimes about things that are irrelevant)but my Mom always listens to me. She is a constant person in my life who I can always turn to. She can be a 'sounding' board or give me advice no matter the subject.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nancy when it comes in regards to the fact that I don't necessarily think listening depends on gender. Mostly for me, it depends on the topic and if it can relate to that person in any way.
During my Interview Speech, I felt everyone was attentive and listening with enthusiasm! Let's hope tonight will be the same!!
Hey Aaron here. I think the key to being a good listener is acknowledgement of your attention to said material in subject. Responding to, s well as acknowledging said statement is a great way to convey to someone that you are attentative to what they are speaking. Also, it seems to me that sometimes it's also very important to reiterate certain statements that said person has spoken. For example, I might respond to someone who says "I had a horrible day" by acknowledging said emotional connotation, but also by reiterating the words spoken to me, like responding with "Oh that sucks what happened". Someone who does these things, like a few of my friends, really show that what you are saying is important to them, as well as respond accordingly. Often times it seems like attaining a response you hope to hear is attributable to whether or not it seems like said person is paying attention.
ReplyDeleteHello, I'm Rob
ReplyDeleteSo listening I feel is a intricate part in communication that is often overlooked in part of conversation. It actually takes alot of work trying to listen and comprehend what others are telling you. Being a good listener takes effort, practice and work. Being able to repeat what was said in paraphrasing is a great way to be a good listener as well as the physical notions like nodding and leaning forward. I for one suck at it, I'm easily distracted and I feel like I have some smild case of ADD. For gender differences, I feel that it takes men alot more effort to listen to someone as we are biologically unable to process conversations at the same time compared to women. I find it very difficult to listen to two things at one time like watching football and trying to listen to your girlfriend talk about her day for instance. It's simply impossible for me.
My sisters are awful listeners. They always try to talk over me, they give too much opinion, and they always seem to ignore what I'm saying when their blackberries are next to them.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is a major difference between gender listeners. If anything women just tend to be better listeners due to their biological motherly bature.
By the way, I definitely disagree with Spencer. I don't think you should of put "all girls." I am a big sports person and not a guy. I grew up playing all different kinds of sports so when I watch a game I am screaming at the TV. However, I still listen whenever someone talks to me during a game. I think it just depends on the person.
Hey everyone, Giavanna here! =) I say that my mom is an extremely good listener. I cant talk to her about anything without a problem.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to genders I feel that guys are just selective listeners or even just that they ARE listening they just don't seem to act upon what your talking about unless they want to. So it just seems like their listening. Although they can have their times when they really just do NOT listen.
I say some girls can be that way to. Its just that girls seem to enjoy socializing a lot more then many men. Also I feel that girls like to have a more philisophical (if thats the right word for it) part of thinking where as men just go by logic and keep it simple. oh and just a fact, quoting from The DRs show "Women have language skills that develop faster then in men."
Hello everyone! This is Nejat. In my family, my sister is a good listener. My sister is a good listener because she takes good notes when there is important lecture going on some place. When I ask her something that I didn’t hear, she tell me what she heard exactly and she paraphrase back to me what she heard and make me understand.
ReplyDeleteOn the introduction speech, I didn't really pay attention on everyone’s speech; I paid attention on some of the speech.
When it comes to gender differences, I think men are not a good listener in relationship because they think they are 100% right on anything you argue with them. They act like they are listening to you, but they are not. Outside relationship they might be different. Women on the other hand she is a good listener when it comes to relationship, but outside the relationship it depends on the situation.
This is Annalise Kamber, my dad is definitely a terrible listener. The "uhh huuhhs... ok ok.." are not suitable responses. Yet my friends are all great active listeners. IE asking questions, and giving feedback or different responses. As far as gendered listening, if you go back to social conditioning you might find that while there are some general differences it can vary emensely. By this I mean not all boys are "bad listeners" and not all girls want to sit and chat all day nor listen. These differences or the capability to listen is unique in many individuals. It is important to make sure your audience, class or close friend, understands what you are saying. Contextual clarity, how loud you are speaking, or whether your speaking to an audience who would BE able to understand.
ReplyDeleteHello everyone, Navpreet here. My friends are definitly good listeners and the awful listener I know is my brother because he's always talking over me, and he always has to disagree. I think that men and women do listen differently. I can't say that all men are bad listeners because I do not know every single male in the world. So, I wont be stereotypical. but all the men I have been around, tend to be very arrogant. then again it could also be a cultural difference. :)
ReplyDelete